hey lovlies,

I know you see many faults in me, I see them too and the fact that I focus so much on them is a fault within itself.
But, I have never pointed out yours, because in my eyes, it is a part of the person that I got to know in the first place.
However, I hear you talking and you make requests of me, when I have never done so myself to you.
Or maybe that is what you want me to do..build my confidence right?

I am so fucking sick of people telling me what I need to do, and how I need to do it.
I know I do ask for help at times. I know I like to lean on the ones I love because it eases the pain.
Yes I have been lazy in my life.
I have had to endure very little compared to the lives of others.
But fuck off.
To all the people who demand me to be more confident, to stop saying the same things, to stand up for myself, to get a job, to stop feeling depressed all the time.
The fact that you are screaming it in my ear all the time does not help.
You want me to be myself then let me do it, and on my own terms.
Not without the demands of others.
Let me find, and be the person I am without the help of others.
Because when I do abide, I don't know whether or not I am myself anymore, or if I am that person.
I have annoying habbits, I will try to tone it down, yes.
But some of those habbits are things I grew up with and are therefore a part of me.


Do these faults really eat you alive? Does it annoy you beyond any form that you can take? Does it diminish any bit of the love you have had for me whatsoever?
If so....then understand.
I am a fucked up individual.
point blank.

I do however have love and respect for the ones I love and who love me.
And I hope one who does trully love me can see past these faults, this little annoyances, and still love me for the person I am, the one that loves you with every bit of my heart and doesn't ask anything to change from you.
And in my heart I know you can.
And you do love.
And I love you

~~~~~~~~~sweet slumber~~~~~~~~~~~